The rain I liked the most now I hated

It’s 9°Clock here and its raining really hard. The blue skies, the sun, the moon and the stars have been off sight for so many days and my moods have got ghosted. Now I feel that the rain which made me so poetic and wanna sing for all of these days till date that now I am starting to dislike. I am presently at my border duties. Staying at this Kalishure mountain has fed my instincts with lots of experiences and exposure.

Before I started my duty here as a Desuup I kept myself lockdown at home for about 3 months, and I must say I did not walk to my neighbour’s door despite my mom and dad saying over and over again to visit them. I know being a part of the community one has to stay connected and united. But my home is located in a border area, and it was more vulnerable for the people there and I didn’t want to be the cause for the change in atmosphere although I was a loner by heart.

Fighting the mosquitoes and leeches have been an everyday story here, I saw the wild elephants here and they were huge; way bigger then what I saw on television and photos. I wanted to take a picture but the elephants here have grown anger towards human as they are being chased from both India and Bhutan side, my friends would always hold me back. But photography has always been a passion and I, for quite a time was learning the art of storytelling. There weren’t many people here so portrait photography was not the thing here. I am trying to click as much of wildlife and deep forest. I have about 15 days until I will get relieved and I have been taking pictures of the butterflies, hope I can capture all the species found here before my time ends here. I will surely start sharing them on my Instagram page.

Well to come back to the rain. It has always been that great source of words and emotional energy. It made me express so much better but not anymore. Seeing the rain falling cats and dog for a continuous period, it definitely has brought harsh weather to my heart and my moods. I was constantly on the hunt to repress this storm. All of my clothes got already destroyed too with fungus caused by the absence of sun. I only wanted a change. I ended up expressing with these lines;

The morning sun was not at my sight for days
Myself I felt all clouded
The rain I liked the most now I hated
The moon and stars were all off sighted

Thinking about the weather, it brought a storm to my heart
and sadness grew like autumn leaves
Now I hated the rain I liked the most
I was literary thinking of nothing I believe

I tried giving myself a lotus position
calming myself and my mind
The rain I liked the most now I hated
I wished if my moods can be refined

But all of these were just the passage of time
I had to hang in with it
Now I hated the rain I like the most
Maybe one day we’ll learn to love all o’er again

So many days have passed but to realize you hardly feel the passage of time also. Having to do the border duty covering a vast area, everybody would get tired but there was definitely that close connection with the nature one could feel. Yet again to think about all of these, it brings joy to my heart feeling grateful for being a part of this noble fight, having enabled to serve for the country at this pandemic. It surely feels good to be part of His Majesty’s legendary vision.

Tisso to all la, wishing for all a safe stay and healthy life.

This is Karan, an educator and a learner based in the Himalayas.